the mad ones

I had my first bout of nausea this morning just after midnight. Unfortunately, I was hard at work, training for the new job that I took for you. I’ve read that this sickness is a good sign that I will carry you to term, so I thought that I would feel happy when it finally came. No such freaking luck, cause I felt miserable. Someone was nice enough to give me some multi grain crackers, but I could only get three down. If this is your punishment for the half a diet coke that I drank, point taken. For god’s sake I’ll never do it again.

Love,
Mommy

I’m really grateful that the stretching you are causing in my uterus has subsided in the evenings, but do you have to do it in the mornings now? I don’t need to hear you tell me this is all normal, but I would appreciate it if we could just learn to share mommy’s body a bit better. The cramping has got to stop.

Your mother.

PS—I’m really glad that you exist and that finally I’ll get to see what daddy and I can make together.

I hope you’re a ginger.

Love, Mommy

Going to try to start a blog for Eggbert, because I want him to know how funny his mom can be when she’s crampy, bloated, and gassy. It’s all your fault, dear. I don’t hold it against you, but this whole digestion thing took years to gravitate towards normal, and it would seem it has once again descended into chaos. If you got ears already and can hear me cursing, remember that I blame you, Eggbert. And when you’re old enough I will tell you what all those words mean. Love, Your Incredibly Excited and Slightly Scared to Death Mommy.